Feeling Alive

The world came alive today. Maybe I should thank the students of Nimiyo Elementary; they attacked their lessons with unusual vigor. Maybe it was something else. My brain took its usual siesta after lunch. While the children played, and my stomach digested, I drifted in and out of consciousness, only pretending to study Japanese. Perhaps I wasn't fully awake when I made my trip to the toilet. Hypnagogic imagery swirled on the floor, the mottled stone transformed into a swarm of sparkling gnats against a background of fog.

Later, driving back to Kuma, the Earth seemed unnaturally illuminated. This was no normal sunlight shining down on the cedar-covered mountains. No, the world around me glowed as if lit from within. I found myself thinking of Chris Locke, "I tried to imagine a world in which such a thing was possible. Suddenly and with some considerable amazement, I realized I was already in it." Only I was sober, and the whole universed was my iridescent soap bubble.

For once, I didn't dread returning to the Board of Education. The boorish office environment no longer seemed so oppressive. I ran through a mental list of things to do and thought of how quickly the time would pass. What was the source of this newfound optimism? How could I capture it? I studied these questions only briefly before abandoning them. This wasn't a feeling to capture, only one to revel in. Maybe it could be pursued, but never in hopes of actualy catching up. The pursuit had to be for the sake of the chase only, for the path, not the destination.